


i'll take it by your side

by icedmachinery, icemachine



Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, this isn't about niles this is about keeg hating niles keep up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25075465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icedmachinery/pseuds/icedmachinery, https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemachine/pseuds/icemachine
Summary: “So,” says Niles Caulder - the man who saved them - to Larry Trainor - their locked tower. “The being inside of you. How did you discover it?”(Exactly how many times did Keeg and Niles try to communicate before the scene in Cult Patrol?)
Relationships: Keeg Bovo & Larry Trainor
Comments: 7
Kudos: 69





	i'll take it by your side

“So,” says Niles Caulder - the man who saved them - to Larry Trainor - their locked tower. “The being inside of you. How did you discover it?”

Larry Trainor curls his fingers into a fist; he thinks that he is safe in this position, that he can somehow make the sickness of touch go away in this position. Clenches. It would hurt, if he was not already numb to a horrific extent. It would hurt, if they could unfurl his hand, if Keeg was capable of helping him.

“ _ I  _ didn’t discover it,” he says, finally, knifelike. “The…”

“The Bureau did?” 

Niles’ tone here is soaked in surprise, like:  _ I was not informed of this.  _

“Not exactly.”

“Then…?”

A sigh - or gasp, Keeg does not know the difference yet - escapes his mouth, and is held back, fighting, by his bandages. The video tape continues recording, continues recording, captures Larry Trainor in a way that Keeg never can.

Underneath bandages and a shearling jacket, Larry’s tendon becomes visible, sticking out of his skin as he rips his fist tighter, tighter, unbearable. It does not hurt Larry Trainor, but it hurts Keeg Bovo, who takes it upon themself to feel  _ everything,  _ like holding the planet on your shoulders—--in a way, they think,  _ Larry is the world—- _

No.

They cannot allow their mind to indulge in these fantasies of attachment and  _ friendship;  _ there is no room in the rooms of his body, there is no space in his mind, yet, for healing.

Niles got him out less than a week ago. Why won’t he let Larry rest? Why interrogate him so suddenly?

“It just… came out,” Larry says, hesitant, as if he thinks that the wrong move - any wrong, untimely statement - will get him instantly sent back to the Ant Farm. “They were… electrocuting me, and it came out.” He pauses. Spits out, words laced with hatred: “I think it killed them. And they just took the bodies away and sent more people in like it was nothing.”

“Sounds like it wanted to protect you.”

Larry dismisses this statement rapidly. “I don’t know what it wants. Frankly, I don’t think  _ it _ knows what it wants.”

A concept forms within them.  _ They can see his memories, they can experience his thoughts —- can he feel theirs?  _ They are exiting the waters drenched in uncertainty, they are slipping through the transparent, textured crevices inside of him—-

Is he listening? Keeg thinks:  _ open yourself up to me. Can you hear me? Do you know that you are good? _

No. He doesn’t. Larry Trainor does not answer, gives no indication that he comprehends, and inside of Keeg something begins a fall, ends the fall, shatters into fragments. Their minds are entangled, the ultimate intimacy, but Larry does not

know

the truth.

“Could I talk to it,” Niles says, “hypothetically?”

“I guess. It seems to know what’s going on.”

_ I know everything that’s going on,  _ they think,  _ I see it all here, hidden inside of you. I am everything; I am nothing. _

“When does it leave your body?”

“When it wants to.”

Niles Caulder leans over the table, speaks directly to them: “What are you?”  _ I’m not sure anymore. On paper, in specifics, I am a Negative Spirit. Figuratively, now, I suppose I exist within Larry Trainor. I did not choose this.  _ “What is your name?”  _ Keeg Bovo.  _ “Are you benevolent? Do you want to help him?”  _ More than anything.  _

None of these words can be heard.

“I don’t think it’s working, Niles.”

“I have a feeling it knows what I am saying,” Niles concludes. “I don’t think it can respond in a frequency audible to human ears.”

There’s another long, unwinding moment of silence until the remains of them are buried, unearthed, buried. Larry says, soft, “Can you get it out of me?”

Niles smiles; out of pity, Keeg knows, and they’re not sure how they know that. “I wish I could.”

* * *

Keeg is not stupid. They know what he is trying to do; he is trying to  _ torture  _ them out of Larry, he is trying to upset Larry on purpose to see if that acts as some sort of trigger. It sickens them. They mimic the nausea inside of Larry Trainor’s body; oh, if only, if only they could experience—-

“You never told me about your life before the accident,” Niles says. “Did you have a wife? Children?”

_ He doesn’t know—- _

_ Why—- _

_ Why is Larry shaking? One name at the forefront of his mind, poking through, attaching itself to every cell—-John Bowers. Always John Bowers. _

“Yes,” Larry says, slow. “I had both.”

“Tell me about them.”

“I don’t see how this is relevant. We’re trying to get the Spirit to come out, why do we have to talk about me?”

“Do you trust my methods or not?” Niles booms; it is full of anger and impatience, and Keeg wants—-wants—-desires—-

Keeg wants to stop him. How can someone hurt another being on purpose and feel no remorse? They think back to the Ant Farm, on this idea,  _ if you want to try torturing it instead of me—- _

That was different.

The first time Keeg shows their form to Niles Caulder, it is to protect Larry. It is always to protect Larry.

They do not harbor the same fear of openness that Larry has, but something about this situation is wrong. 

“Thank you,” Niles says. “It’s about time.”

They move in front of Larry—--a shield.  _ Let him rest,  _ they think; Niles cannot hear this, and will never let Larry rest. They have to give him what he wants. It’s similar to the Ant Farm;  _ give the man what he wants and he won’t hurt anyone. _

“Now, now. I just want to figure you out. You must be quite scared. I can only imagine how it feels to be displaced.”

He tries to move closer. Without thinking—- _ instinct— _ they release a band of energy, electricity, and hold it against his throat, a threat,  _ Larry is right, they—-they’re a monster—- _

_ Safety. _

_ They’re doing what they have to. _

“Let me go,” he chokes. “I only want to help you. I want to help him, too. I—”

Keeg releases him. Regrets. Monstrousness.

“Let’s try again,” Niles says, already composed. “And we’re going to be nice, this time, right? Don’t make me contact agent Forsythe.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> yes the end parallels "don't make me lock you away again" niles is a bastard and i hate him anyway kudos+comments appreciated!!


End file.
